Castles , Closure , Catharsis and Clearing the Cache

It is rather peculiar how someone could have gone in a mere 7 months from building castles in the air with a Goan to building sand castles at Goa [the Goan having vanished into thin air]. Lofty dreams GROUNDED ? A capricious world indeed .

For a kid who prided himself on his logic and ability to reason out things , it was certainly unsettling to be fed purely on emotions . A pessimist-turned-optimist who turned cynical all over [ does the glass even exist ?!]. Where better a place for true perception to be attained than standing grounded , ankle deep in sand , looking out at the sea [Closure with a capital sea?! ;)].

The book lies shut under the glow of a table-lamp .It is only partially thumbed through ; I may never know what the rest of it reads . The cover of the leather tome still never fails to amaze me . I pause for a moment , run my fingertips across those familiar inscriptions on the cover , dreamily remembering the hours spent admiring it . I examine the once sturdy binding and nod my head in disappointment at some of the now loose leaves . Allowing myself a whiff of the delicate odour given off by the sheets , I lose myself in a reverie : a recapitulation of the preface and four-and-a-half chapters I had read . With heavy footsteps and a knot in my throat I carry it to the bookcase . Ascending the rungs of the ladder to the very top , I proceed to stand on tiptoe , stretch my arm out as far as can go and place the book on the highest shelf . A place of honour for a work I once cherished . The dust on the shelf is disturbed into a cloud . A violent cough is induced and my eyes turn moist and misty [surely brought on by the dust of course , cos as you know big boys don't cry! ;) ]  Steadying myself to avoid tipping right over, I then climb slowly down the ladder and walk away from the bookcase fighting the urge to take one last look at the volume with just one thought in my mind ,'' Well too bad for her , because there's this amazing book with(in) me too that she had begun to read, but shall never get to complete.''

Chagrin. Closure. A cenotaph . Carte Blanche.

''Shit happens'' , I once said to a pal . ''Don't worry soon enough someone will come around with a pooper scooper!'' , she replied. That was certainly the most amusing and perhaps even the most helpful line said to me over these tumultuous months. Hope is a funny thing with the power to destroy you at times , while at others it can piece you together like nothing else can . Pooper Scooper , oh Pooper Scooper where are ye ?! [waiting for you to come along and scoop me off my feet!]

While I await your arrival , this lil peasant boy shall try to fashion himself a suit of armour and shine it as bright as can be! I shall then practice the walk , shoulders held high , the gait of a noble knight . Through it all I'll just hope that knights-in-shining-armour haven't been completely sidelined [by vampires with sharp canines!]. Considering that times have changed , I'll proceed to sit back and wait for a damsel to come and rescue [or atleast inbox!] me.  *hint hint*  ;)  

Now , I'm off to build myself up from scratch . Wish me luck [or atleast the right array of circumstances!].

Construct. Change.

{ @ Calangute beach , Goa...built along with Amulya}

Pencil to paper

A pencil shading portrait I had drawn of a friend about a year back .Was rather pleased with the outcome! :D

A pencil to paper ,
An expression of my appreciation
A stencil of She-who-meant-so-much ,
Infused with a sincere adoration .

Cheers ,to what was !
Cheers , to whatever shall be .
Even as all the greenery is lost and the whole globe thaws,
A friend that was , shall always be in need .

Bridges need not always be rebuilt to cross the turbulent stream ,
a dinghy that even barely stays afloat will do just as well for me.

A Ravishing Time at St. Joseph’s Boys’ High School

 I was asked to write a short piece about our beloved school for a monthly newsletter back when I was in 12th Std , here it goes ...

'' The prospect of receiving an education at an institution like St. Joseph’s Boys’ High School with a hundred and fifty years of glorious history and with great footsteps to follow in, was admittedly truly daunting and awe-inspiring. With the likes of Rahul Dravid, Rahul Sarpeshkar, Sabeer Bhatia, Robin Uthappa , J.V Pillai, Nikhil Chinnapa, Jimmy Anklesaria and many more renowned personalities having graced the corridors of this institution during their formative years, one couldn’t but help sense that a ‘yellow-brick road’ to a glistening future is etched into the stars of each one of its pupils. Thus with mighty hopes, great expectations and a measure full of awe, I stepped into the institution for my 11^th grade, prepared to settle in for a pleasant ride. Gosh, what a ride it has been! A “journey” would perhaps be a more appropriate term: a journey of growth, a journey of personal development, a guided tour of the hallways of knowledge and even so a journey filled with fun and cheerful mirth! I sensed that two years at this institution would change me forever, and a seer couldn’t have predicted it any better, because just two years later the little lad that had set out on the ‘journey’, has grown into a young man: one capable of braving the currents and tides of the massive ocean we call the real world.

         ‘Fide et Labore’ (Faith and toil), our school’s motto, truly sums up what we are encouraged to do: to strive forward with “hearts within and God overhead”, and with the determination and the will to work hard to reach our goals. One of the major driving forces of the management and the teachers (who we fondly refer to as “chers”) has been seeking a true all-round development of the pupils. ”Discipline” is another keyword of our beloved institution, an aspect our teachers have meticulously stressed upon. It’s a word that is thought to send shivers down any pupil’s back but is in fact seemingly welcomed here at Joseph’s since “we couldn’t break a rule that doesn’t exist right”! On a more serious note, the qualities of discipline and self-reliance that are instilled in us, almost as a part of the curriculum itself, are a great character builder: a sturdy, orderly foundation to build our castles/skyscrapers upon.

         With the recent conversion of the ISC programme into a co-ed system, the management has commendably managed to seamlessly integrate the fairer sex into the previously all-boy school. With a principal who’s much in tune with the changing times, and inspiring teachers who have a close rapport with the pupils and who will continue to mould them into impressive beings, the school will surely rise to even greater heights and continue to nurture the voices of the future. We the proud ‘Josephites’ promise to do our little bit by going ahead to “Ring out the battle-call of Duty” and “Unfurl the flag of Faith and Toil” (excerpts from our school song), and in doing so hopefully further win and spread our school’s renown. Speaking for myself, this institution has been all that I initially expected it to be and much more. It has been a god-send for me by certainly providing one of the best possible environments for me by helping me to learn and to grow; by teaching me the essential lessons of life and by letting me have a fabulous, memorable time as I went about it! ''

Introspection Of A Hapless Mind

Through the hazy blur of dazed thoughts,
Penetrating the fog of war that selfishness has wrought,
It’s a sight, an apparition that leaves me perplexed and confused.
The world as I knew it: It’s lost its charm, its beauty and its lure.

With a whirlpool of jabbing thoughts,
I’m in a disturbing confusion of sorts.
A vile mindless concoction
Of unfulfilled hopes n desires exasperated.
Like sands at the mercy of erosion,
A hapless mind battling to withstand corrosion.
The future, our purpose -
Worthy are they of contemplation?

Numbed by the screams of countless suffering souls,
A gash through the heart for all the pain and bloodshed that is shown.
Shackled within the tight bonds of a calcareous shell,
I now look upon my world –A world on path to impending hell?

Looking upon the tumultuous world that I now see,
I truly wish to be let out; unshackled; set free:
Free from the hold of this stricken netherworld,
Free to stroll through the halls of a land devoid of rotting cadavers.

Through the hazy blur of dazed thoughts,
Penetrating the fog of war that selfishness has wrought,
The world I now see, it isn’t as I knew it to be before.
Its sad, but its true, that world is NO MORE.